WEE, not WII
Nov 30th, 2009 @ 9:17 pm
once is fucking enough
So now everyone can refer to the yesterday post as “The random message which killed WEE”. Its amazing how just one day of sleep can totally change the point of view of everything, even my own. It doesn’t matter if she acknowledges me or not, if she choose to hang out with me or not, at the end of the day, this is just who i am, and i believe that whatever decision i make, whatever things that may happen because of the decision, all happened for a reason. No more whining about “oh i should have done that” “i should have done this” “aiya wasted sia..”. Its still her choice, which personality or kind of looks she prefer. I think she likes super skinny African children style kind of skinny type of guys with a fucking bone face with a hole thats good for blowjobs only a face with nothing special in particular and a personality that only God knows how much can he be better than me. Can he possibly be ?! Maybe shes blind.
Shes so beautiful i can cry.
Back to reality. Bodybuilding, one of the things i really want to do and be good in, but in singapore and given my asian gene pool, it seems like a very impossible dream. The only thing i can do now to get just inches closer to that dream is to train and eat healthier every single day, shaping my body into something worth admiring at, something i can be proud of :D
Rambo! (sylvester stallone)
Lou Ferrigno!
last but not least, ARNOLD !!!!
Motivations~
@ 12:37 am
this love this hate
I used to write so much posts about you, good or bad, sad or happy, sometimes its all about you. I’ve never appear once in your post at all, stuff like saying thanks, helping you out, the times we hang out together, none of it has me at all, not that i mind, but surely I am worth writing about more than other stuff right? maybe not, but still.. And guess what, this fucking post is gonna be about you again!
Its like I don’t even exist in your life now. Occasionally, you would sms me super random stuff with no actual meaning in them and I know you know that you know I would reply. So whats the fucking point of those sms? It just pisses me off, are you trying to get my attention because you actually miss me?! I highly doubt so. Or are you just plain bored without any of your other so called’ we’re just friends but we’re damn close also” friend so you find me as an replacement to curb your boredem? I seriously wonder what you’re thinking sometimes, and I don’t want to know, i would probably fucked everything up again once i know.
If i don’t exist in your life anymore, why still sms? why still talk to me? I know you know that the person whom I really care and love (note the word LOVE, YES. I DO FEEL LOVE FROM YOU INCASE YOU STILL DON’T GET IT) is you, and I know you don’t want me to feel that way towards you and you just wants to be friends with me. So naturally I know what to do, I NEED to forget about you, the things we shared and did together, believe me, it’s not easy because I can say for sure that you’re the first girl I’ve really fallen deeply for. This sort of things, is hard to let go off. Everytime i tried, i almost succeed, believing you’ve found that somebody new, that so called’ we’re just friends but we’re damn close also” friend, you always never fail to pull me back into believing we’re still possible to be together, by simply just sms-ing me random shits. RANDOM SHITS! THINGS THAT HAVE NO MEANING! MAKES ME WONDER IF YOU’RE MISSING ME OR IS IT JUST MY WISHFUL THINKING! If you really want to talk to me, why not just sms what you wanna say? Why do you have to torture me with all this mind games?! THIS MIGHT BE JUST SOME MINOR STUFF TO YOU, BUT TO ME, ITS KILLING ME INSIDE! BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE THE FEELING OF WHAT I FEEL TOWARDS YOU! GET IT ?!
Sometimes, I would rather you never talk to me at all, so that i can completely rid of this feeling.
If this isn’t false hope, I don’t know what is. I hate to admit this, but everytime i get something from you, deep inside, i feel happy
Alright people, go to sleep.
Nov 16th, 2009 @ 10:12 pm
watch me fade to grey in your life
Back to update after 10 days? Nothing special happening during this 10 days, some occasional hang out at the movies, shopped and gym as usual. School are getting more stress now, the initial few weeks of slacking are coming to an end, ICA’s coming up and after all those written tests would be projects all the way!!! Anyways time spent in school passes by super fast for me. Monday 9 - 5 and then work out till around 8? Same thing for Tuesday! So monday and tuesday will be over before I realize i’ve gotten over the hardest days to pass out of a week! Wed usually is time for me to hang out, slack with the usual friends? Thurs and friday are very well like weekend for me, 4 hours break in school, a whole lot of me time including friday which i’ve got no school. Ahh i love how i manange my time this sem.
Worked at APEC during the weekends, not really that fun compared to F1 or other major cocktail events, my store IC’s sucks serious ass, fucked up guy thought i’m new and give me attitude. If my store IC’s are someone else I think it would be a damn fun job considering the number of staffs they hired, this usually mean more friends hunting in facebook! But i think most of us still managed to meet lots of new people, friendly bunch! It’s a really major event with all the delegates, prime ministers of other countries etc.
Ah and thats about it, nothing much.
~
@ 9:54 pm
APEC! and a really nice picture
Nov 6th, 2009 @ 11:57 pm
Hide, isolate
Below are random pictures taken quite recently. Pardon the idiots tucking in their shirt posing for a picture, because that’s what good guys will do when they waited 4 hours for nothing.. Edwin and Joochuan, i must admit, the jokes they cracked between themselves are damn funny and LAME! And they’re damn gay also lah, they drew and lay on each other during lectures!!! SHAMELESS LAH GUYS! HAHAH! And the pics I took with Cheryl when playing pool, I LOVE THE EFFECT AND BACKGROUND! Like the music video of 21 Guns sia ha ha.
Time pass by really fast, start of the week, i remember waking up and dreading it because it’s monday. And out of nowhere without much thinking it’s friday already. A really fun week, thursday was the best. SW played Captain’s ball after class! Really fun, too bad not everyone can join in the fun, but I do hope we have more of this kind of stuff happening each week!
And today, SW Karoeke DAY! First time I sang Karoeke!! Was super fun with the classmates around, Mas, Rafidah, Izzati and Sze Ying was the best! SUPER NICE! Sam said that he almost cried when he heard Mas sang the Malay song, TOUCHING! Sze Ying and Daryl was just awesome la, duet for the jay chou song !! And Edwin couldn’t believe that Daryl voice was somewhat alike to Jay chou ha ha. Have lots of fun hope to do it again some other time, there are so many other songs to sing too! 3 hours definitely isn’t enough!
Beach and F1 dinner tomorrow, gonna be fun I hope! Haircut on sunday with Sam with his ‘gay’ barber.
~
@ 11:39 pm
RANDOM!
Nov 4th, 2009 @ 10:10 pm
you move left, and i stay right
Why do I always apologize for all the wrong things. Even when i think i’m not in fault, i apologize. Send something harsh today because of impulse, the spur of the moment thing, but what i’ve send is right, it speaks truly of what i am feeling at that point of time, and its just a fact that it is harsh. However, this kind of text messages when sent on impulse have really bad effect on the other party, it causes quarrels, arguements and creates cold shoulders. But what can i do? I can’t how in these words that needs to be spoken, its the kind of feeling where you really want to get it off your chest, and the only output is to just speak up to the person who make you feel that way. Well, that’s what I did, time after time again, harsh words or groundless self assumptions i’ve said to her, makes me really … I don’t know how else to continue. Everything is so unfair.
We’re really not meant to be.
Nov 2nd, 2009 @ 12:07 am
you look pretty in your fancy dress, but i detect unhappiness
Alright back to update, the last time i updated was 2 weeks ago? or longer i can’t remember. Very lazy to update, nothing much happened except for… the only meaningful stuff that happened was quite sad for me so i won’t write about them =(
After reading maple’s blog, i realize most of the eventful stuff and fun things that happened to me are just fractions of how much fun she is having, so happening! Why can’t my social life be like hers =( Well I’m still happy for whatever i have right now =)
What have i been doing recently:
Worked, Ion grand opening and some random odd events. That’s what my hair will look like in the below picture for any grand events =D
Celebrated cheryl’s birthday and those frames are presents we did for her! Beach-ed as usual with the usual guys, i hoped cheryl enjoy her birthday, though it wasn’t much, quite a lot of heart went into it.
Well that’s about it, school just reopened and this is the 3rd week. Still okay, not so bad, work load at bare minimum. Ahh i just can’t find anything more else to write! So bored!!
Nov 1st, 2009 @ 11:52 pm
random pictures
@ 2:37 pm
i don't wanna feel any regrets
that, i don’t wanna feel any regrets, i’m not gonna type what happened which makes me and her feel any regrets, because i wanna get over them, don’t wanna think about them, don’t wanna talk about them. To me, it hurts.
I’m keeping a journal of memories, not negatives and “what-i-should-have-done”
Just wanna be happy, for myself.
